Assignment 10

For this week's experiment, I decided to do a homophonic translation of a poem by Pablo Neruda. To find this poem, I googled homophonic translation. I wanted to see how close I was at a "good" translation and so I found the same poem translated into English from Spanish. For some additional context, I am familiar with the Spanish language, but it's been a couple of years since I have practiced or communicated in Spanish. Original Poem:

Juventud

by Pablo Neruda

Un perfume como una ficida espada

de ciruelas en un camino,

los besos del azficar en los dientes,

las gotas vitales resbalando en los dedos,

la dulce pulpa er6tica,

las eras, los pajares, los incitantes

sitios secretos de las casas anchas,

los colchones dormidos en el pasado, 

el agrio valle verde

mirado desde arriba, 

desde el vidrio escondido:

toda la adolescencia mojfindose y ardiendo

como una lÿmpara derribada en la lluvia.

My homophonic translation:

Youth 

by Pablo Nemda

Perfume with a fake special

of circles in a walk

artificial kisses on my teeth,

goats balancing on my feet,

sweet erotic pulp,

eras, pairs, and incidents

secret situations in special houses

colches dormant in the past

green agriculture valley

looking outside

all the adolescents drawing art and exciting

like a lamp out in the light

"Correct" translation:

Youth 

by Pablo Nemda

Acid and sword blade: the fragrance

of plum in the pathways:

tooth's sweetmeat of "kisses,

power and spilth on the fingers,

the yielding erotic of pulps,

hayricks and threshing floors, 

clandestine recesses that tempt through the vasmess of houses;

bolsters asleep in the past, 

the bitter green valley,

seen from above,

 from the glasses' concealment;

and drenching and flaring by turns, 

adolescence like a lamp overturned hÿ the rain.